How would you tell your life story – is it a story of fun and laughter, of connection and love, of struggle and success, or struggle and more struggle?
How you tell your story determines how you live your life. If you tell yourself life is a struggle, you will struggle. There will be good times but you’ll keep seeing the struggles. If you focus on the fun, the good relationships, the opportunities that have led to good or exciting times, you’ll see the times of struggle as part of the journey without getting stuck in them.
You can choose how you tell your story
The secret to your story lies in your beliefs and the habits of thought and behaviour based on them. Most of these beliefs are formed in childhood and are run by your subconscious mind so you don’t always know they are there. In childhood they helped you make sense of your life and kept you safe when you were growing up, but now in your adult life they may be sabotaging your success if they’ve become stories that you tell yourself to justify the limitations in your life.
When you keep telling the same stories over and over, you fix them in your subconscious, and they become the filter through which you see your world and live your life. If you want to change your life, change your thinking.
Here’s an example of how your thinking influences what you see: have you ever bought (or thought about buying) a specific make or colour car? Remember how you started seeing cars like that everywhere? Test this by thinking about a model or colour car you like and counting how many you see the next time you’re out and about.
I’m not advocating a Pollyanna approach to life that doesn’t take account of difficult situations. You need to acknowledge difficulties and disappointments, and if needed, to vent your feelings (appropriately). The trick is not to turn it into a long story, but to make it an incident, perhaps a turning point, or retrospectively, a moment of insight. Your mindset is key to your life story.
The good news is that today there are ways to reprogramme your subconscious mind, simply, easily, and very effectively, so change is just a decision away, the decision to change how you tell your story.
What is the old story you’ve been telling yourself? What story would you prefer?
If you’re curious about how to change your mindset story, call me to chat about it.